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reality bites- grad school advice,

updated fri 24 nov 06


Julie Milazzo on thu 23 nov 06

and history of the decision-making process...

Hmmm... so I suppose that since you remember so much
about my journey, I may as well go ahead and fill you
in on a bit more. So, I did close the studio after
four years, and just when I was actually graduating
from Ramen to Mac n' cheese. Oh well. Yes, love. Two
months after I decided to move to Seattle my mom died
of ovarian cancer, which actually helped with the
decision to go.
I still had a couple months in South Carolina
before the move, and really couldn't stand being
there. Everything reminded me of my mom. I headed
south a week after the funeral, and the top letter on
this gargantuan stack of mail was a notice of jury
duty. My immediate thought was, "I can't wait to tell
my mom this one..."
Anyway, I had classes to make up and a big
fundraising event for the Arts Counsel that I was
hosting, so it helped keep me busy, but so much of my
life there made me think of my mother, even though she
was in Buffalo.
Moving to Seattle helped make a clean break. I
knew no one except my boyfriend. I was a new resident
in a great studio where I knew no one. It helped me
ostrich for a long time. And I needed to.
Unfortunately, after three months I left the
relationship. As you mentioned, I am a sparkplug, and
I was in love with an engineer, and while most women
would have killed to have the situation I was in, I
felt like I was slowly drowning. And was turning into
a stepford wife. And felt awkward and socially odd for
the first time since I was a teenager. And so I left.
I am still a resident at Pottery Northwest, and
am living with an amazing potter who took me in when I
knew no one, and hasn't come to her senses enough to
kick me out. I have decided that the life others want
isn't what I want for myself, and it is quite feasible
that I may never marry, especially since I don't want
children. I will have to provide enough for myself
that if I break a wrist, or develop cancer, or need to
leave my life for a little while to take care of a
sick relative or friend, I can.
I fully expected a litany of people telling me
that I am selling out, but have been pleasantly
surprised by the responses. Perhaps it's growing up,
and realizing that I never want to be in the position
where I have to lean on loved ones for a long time.
Especially financially, because that is the one I am
most capable of doing something about.
Anyway, you're caught up. I hope all is well out
that way. Hope the weather isn't awful. I'm heading to
Buffalo Saturday. Take care! Jules
--- clennell wrote:

> Jules wrote:
> > So, I always told myself that I would pursue clay
> and
> > explore it professionally, and at the age of
> thirty,
> > would reevaluate the situation. I'm a couple weeks
> shy
> > of thirty one, and have decided that it is time to
> > continue with clay, but also pursue a master's
> degree
> > in counseling. I want clay to remain something I
> > adore, something I make because I need to, not a
> > battle between financial security and making
> pieces I
> > detest. Life has tossed me a couple of curve balls
> > that have forced some maturity and insight (okay,
> > well, not a lot of maturity...), and I am ready to
> > pursue a career in psychology and continue my love
> > affair with clay.
> hey Julie: Glad to see you surfacing and I'm bummed
> out watching you throw
> in the clay towel. You are one of Marvin Bjurlin's
> spark plugs and if you
> can't make it, I don't know who the heck can. I
> wondered what would happen
> when ya sold your pottery in that sea town in the
> Carolina's and followed
> another love to the west???? I have taught many
> really good young potters at
> Sheridan that after a few years are just plain tired
> out but mostly tired of
> being a sick day away from being broke.
> In my opinion teaching/counselling along with your
> pots is a wise move. One
> of our best is going back to Teacher's College. She
> will have summers,
> security and a smile again. Don't feel sad.
> the guy that Sheila said ought to be my son did it
> all- after Sheridan,
> apprenticship, off to Alberta to finish his BFA,
> down to OZ to school there
> with some fine ones, off to SASKATCHEWAN (the only
> one to ever take that
> advice from me) to make woodfired pots. Now, working
> in Toronto at
> Starbucks. He's smiling though and collecting
> pottery equipment.
> I'm not a betting man but I'll bet ya a Grande
> Cappachino Skim with cinnamon
> sprinkles on it, I'll see ya again on the dirt road.
> I hope you get some good graduate school advice.
> There are people in Ivory
> Towers on Clayart that really care about dirt balls.
> Stay dirty, kiddo!
> Best,
> Tony
> P.S In my dream world I'd surround myself with young
> potters like the above
> 3 hotshots. Somewhere that we could curse, spit,
> help one another and make
> pots the way they ought to be made.
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