search  current discussion  categories  kilns & firing - misc 

humor: dolita's kiln loader

updated sun 26 sep 04


psci_kw on sat 25 sep 04

To build a kiln loader, one needs to find the following items:

one wheelbarrow, preferably one where the wheel doesn't go flat
every five minutes.
one strong back
one weak mind
one electric, gas, or wood kiln (cement floor base optional, smooth
is better)
one lemon yellow or kelly green feather boa
one 8 foot long 2X6 plank or equivalent
one short piece of 2X4 or a brick
lots of bisqued pots, glaze optional
digital camera or (better) camcorder (plastic body is fine)
a friend or loved one (see weak mind/strong back above)

Wrap feather boa about the neck to protect skin from the heat.

Place one end of plank or 2X6 onto ground, the other onto the lip of
the kiln opening or door.

Place small piece of 2X4 or brick about 12 inches away from the kiln
end of the 2X6 or plank, across the plank. Secure into place with
Mel's famous duct tape.

Open the lid or door of the preheated kiln. (Stand back, it might
be hot)

Load pots to be fired into wheelbarrow. Place larger pots to the
front, smaller pots above and to the rear.

Move wheelbarrow about 15 feet from the end of the plank, and orient
wheel end _toward_ the kiln. (This step is very important!! Do not
skip this step!)

Pick up handles of wheelbarrow. One should be facing kiln. If not,
re-orient yourself so that you are, with the wheelbarrow in FRONT of
you. See step above!

Run at full speed, pushing wheelbarrow up ramp created by plank.
When wheel of wheelbarrow strikes piece of 2X4 or brick, let go of
the wheelbarrow handles immediately. Wheelbarrow will tip and
deposit pots into kiln. Vibration of pots hitting shelves will
close lid automatically.

Have friend film action with camera or camcorder for use on
"Americas Funniest Home Videos"

To unload, tip kiln on side and remove pots.