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gallery hours, getting customers, and murphy's law

updated thu 9 jan 03


Julie Milazzo on wed 8 jan 03

As a gallery/ studio owner for several months
now, the key to getting people in my door has nothing
to do with posting hours, advertising, or trying to
make my open times memorable. Instead, people come
when I don't want them to. Always.
Even when I'm open, there are times that
household tasks and gallery duties overlap, as my
gallery is in the would-be living room and dining room
of my house. People always seem to show up when I'm
cooking broccoli, cauliflower or fish. The gallery
smells bad, and I feel the need to explain what I've
got going in the kitchen. They also show just as a cat
throws up a hairball right in front of the door, or a
tortoise decides to relieve his bowels for the first
time in two weeks... on my shoe.
Then there's the one day I want to sleep in
(okay, actually it's more like seven...). My doorbell
starts ringing at eight; this is the middle of the
night for me.
Then there's the inevitable bathroom run. It's
amazing how they show up the second I'm on the toilet,
and there's just no way to stop.
They also tend to show up the day after a feast
of gaseous foods. They will also want to stick around
and chat, as buttons on jeans start popping off.
Then there's the day (or week) that I don't
bother showering, bathing, brushing hair or teeth, or
using any makeup. That's when a HOT guy comes in.
Alone. And he isn't married or gay.
Then there's lunchtime. Take a big old bite of
something green, and watch them crowd.
Then there are the times that I wake up early,
shower, brush, floss, blow dry, apply makeup, dress
up, feel great, and sit alone, in my gallery, all day,
feling too clean to do any pottery, and wishing that
someone, anyone would come in, just so I could feel
like people were saying, "Hey you should go to
Crackpots! there's this cute young lady who makes the
stuff right on the premises. Boy does she have herself
together!" Instead, I fear, it's more like, "Okay, run
in, hold your breath, and don't get too close to her.
Yes, we heard she kills all her ex boyfriends. Well, I
could believe it, there's a horrible stench, like
someone cooking cauliflower..."
So anyway, do your best, and attract no one, or
don't bother stressing yourself out, and see what
happens. Okay, time to harvest some of the potatoes
growing behind my ears... Jules

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